She bought him the bar
The satin oak, that wouldn't let Friday or Saturday night soak ...in
She fixed chandeliers above every table
Bought him a wine cooler full of dom perignons
and uniformed the staff, so the cocktails made themselves
She bought him the finest canapés he couldn't pronounce
Put it all on her business account
She bought him Sinatra in surround sound
The best musicians from around the town
Brought in all walks of life, his future wife
and it all... went up his nose
She heard there'd be screaming traffic, skeleton trees and a sea of regrets. But she was faced with gentle closure and a field in bloom where it was just too good to wake
And he played his violin over bread and dripping as Westminster conducted him. He scorned new phones, peroxide trainers and tattoos.
He wanted budgeting - bread and dripping and Westminster conducted him
When the day is done at 5.
And smoke perfumes the past.
And Shiny Happy People*
is another way to fast.
And the last of the office lights
make you feel she's gone for good.
It's Autumn.
We did Paris and I got sick.
I just about made it from a day in bed to the bistro next door.
I ordered dry fettuccine and the waiter met me_with a blank face_
She bought fashion magazines but wanted the Louvre -
Flicked through TV channels but needed subtitles.
And when I was able, we walked by the Seine.
Traced the citrus notes over the waves
. and then hung on to the railings.
We walked until the blisters on my heels were like radishes.
Gave a begging man, freshly squeezed orange juice and a block of dark chocolate.
He.kissed.the.air.
We made it to the Eiffel tower but didn't have the money to go up or even to buy one from a suitcase.
And so we broke bread on the grass and watched.
That was Paris for us.
There was a bridge, a trip switch between my stomach and my sanity
I was on my own 52nd street, heckled at for poor time keeping
Charlie parker ducking a cymbal
Only severed syncopation between my lungs and my breath.
Every time jump leads to get them moving together. Every time a panic attack
I'd cave under invisible pressure, trying to be present,
melt in the mirror, take in the bigger picture
The only time I didn't break down was on a sofa, with Rick Stein repeats
So that's where I'd be for months.
Workers wear overtime on the catwalk
It's vogue for the everyman
I do solemnly declare I did not enjoy my day off
I started work in my sleep and finished in A&E
Ah but...
'In my day we worked when we were dead.'
I paid by finance and felt as though I was cheating on my wife.
Tell me why I'm headed to jail?
Because you still haven't paid the interest on Sunday's lunch.
A land of landlords creating box rooms for families out of poorly cladded high rises or old libraries . Lucky if you get a window seat. Ice pops and screens on hand , just don't all need a piss at once .
Tomorrow I will make my Nan in law a smoothie...
Banana,
honey,
peanut butter.
rice milk
She won't remember but I hope she remembers it's there
by her side willing to be finished.
Springs dig in my ribs
As I reverse from
vivid trips,
distorted relationships.
Ones I hope won't outlive
this feeling of _springs in my ribs
Springs dig in my ribs
As reality hits, I remember social distances...
And throughout the day
I may have to unbuild such extensions
Repair make belief bridges.
Realise I never rode space mountain.
It was just me asleep.
From creosote
To when we were shaking
Dead fire coals as spring unfolds
A familiar beautiful wasted space
Why didn't this add up?
All these times were weather proof
for me, not you.
Wonderland we're holding hands
Somewhere between a dead charade and a glue eyed dance.
An old one excerpt from my song the Magpie Turns. Just a bit of winter imagery.
When the day is done at 5.
And smoke perfumes the past.
And Shiny Happy People*
is another way to fast.
And the last of the office lights
make you feel she's gone for good.
It's Autumn.
(walking home)
shiny happy people* by R.E.M